stealhearted | are you hurting the one you love?

I've been told I give off enough body heat to power a small universe. [ That's not exactly what Ann said, but it's pretty close. He and Morgana are a miserable combination in the summer. ]

You can take whichever side you want. [ If Akira's on the outside or the inside, he'll really just roll into Akechi if he needs more space. ]

[He absolutely doesn't want to wake up boxed against the wall, so he claims the outer edge to give himself an easier escape route.]

That... seems a bit of an exaggeration, but I suppose I can believe it.

I... sleep kind of deep, so if you get too hot in the middle of the night, I probably won't wake up. [ Akira, also, will gently give Akechi an out, an option to bolt away if it becomes too much at the last minute.

Granted, he intends to cling to Akechi with all his most seductive cuddling power, which... he has never thought about until today. ]

[He intones a full sound of agreement, folding around his knees and pushing his hair behind one of his ears.]

I sleep very light, but we should be fine so long as you don't hold onto me.

Just shove me off. [ Because Akira is going to hug onto him, he knows that. He doesn't technically have any proof -- he's never really shared a bed before and he doesn't latch onto Morgana when they sleep -- but he still knows it with absolute certainty. ]

[He gives him a withering frown.] Can I not just request you don't?

[ Akira leans in, bumping his shoulder against Akechi's again, that familiar way of contact that Akechi seems to be the most receptive to. ]

I'm not really in control of what I do when I sleep.

[He grumbles softly, but bumps back.] ...so long as you don't mind if I dislodge myself forcibly.

I'll probably deserve it. [ It's not that he will intentionally koala onto Akechi, it's just that --

boyfriend warm, smell good, soft skin. Brr brr. ]

Absolutely, seeing as I'm already warning you I don't like being touched and prefer you'd not cling.

[Entirely contrasting his words, he leans against him, going slack.]

I'm banking my hopes on being the exception. [ The way he says it -- it doesn't actually have confidence so much as a quiet tone that makes it sound almost like a fact. Like he has to be the exception; like Akehci has to make the exception for him.

Akira has to believe that this will work, because if he doesn't, it feels like the floor is being pulled out from under him.

"I'd be okay if you left" was always a lie. ]

Haven't you ever heard the phrase "don't count your chickens before they hatch"? [He wriggles, shuffling his way down so he's slouched but still sitting, and snaking an arm around behind Akira to loop loosely around him.] It...,

[He stops, looking pensive.] Permit me an admission that you won't repeat or get too overly excited over?

Your secrets are safe with me. [ Which -- is definitely more layered than it might be with someone else, but all the same, it's true. Akira reaches over, runs his fingers through Akechi's hair, nails dragging across his scalp in an easy, tender movement. ]

[He closes his eyes, and the fingernails against his scalp are obviously well-received, but in the same wary, uncertain way he takes most positive things in his life. Drawing in a careful breath and holding it, counting backward from ten as he exhales, he pillows his head against Akira's collarbone.]

...I've never really liked being touched, not since I was young, but. It's... easier. With you, and the rest of your group. Takamaki and Sakamoto have no concept of personal space, and sitting in that van... It was cramped and uncomfortable, but it was. Almost pleasant, because misguided as all of yours was, there was a strange degree of trust intermingled. [He fidgets with the strings on the hood of his borrowed jacket.] Trust is likely what I lack, as a whole.

I don't think I knew what trust was. [ Akira doesn't stop the slow, rhythmic movement of his fingertips, concentrating on it almost too hard to compensate for the way he doesn't know how to phrase what he's talking about. ]

But... I think it's someone that will fight for you. Even if you're wrong, maybe. Ryuji and Ann would fight for me even if I was wrong, but they were the first ones, you know? [ Touching Akechi is a good distraction from the way that makes him feel, the deep pit in his stomach.

He doesn't say the obvious -- that Akechi can trust him; that he'd fight for Akechi even if Akechi was wrong -- but leaves it heavy in the air like a morning fog. ]

Ann was the first hug I'd had in... [ Akira drifts off, vaguely. ]

[He makes a sound, and it's definitely a growl but he would deny it if asked, and butts himself up against Akira, mashing his face into his neck instead.]

My circumstances notwithstanding, no sixteen year old should be that unaware of the concept of trust. I'm-- [He worms around again until his legs are swung over Akira's hips, and he looks thoroughly annoyed all up until his whole expression slackens, and he looks a bit startled.] ...I'm glad. That they... [He waves a hand in a vague gesture.] You're the type to enjoy it.

There wasn't anyone that trusted me, before. [ His parents... loved him, probably, but more as a concept than anything else. He doesn't really feel bad about that anymore, because he's been steadily healing his heart with his friends -- with Sojiro -- with Akechi.

It's helping, in leaps and bounds. ]

I know you'll tell me it's stupid, but I trust you too. [ It's stupid to trust someone that killed him, but. Akechi isn't going to do it again. Akira lets his hand move down, knuckles rubbing across Akechi's cheek instead. ]

I think you'll enjoy it, someday.

[He goes immediately silent, and suddenly still, leaning up against him, and fiddles with the strings on the hoodie again.]

...did you trust me before I shot you in the head?

Kind of. I trusted that you'd do what we'd planned for. And I thought -- [ Akira's other hand goes to Akechi's hip. He isn't holding him there, just resting. ]

I wanted to trust you more. I wanted you to trust me.

[He wishes he could have. Wishes he had anyway. He can't say it, because at this point it's like insult to injury to them both, but the grimace to his features and the way he monitors his breath very carefully probably says enough.]

[And possibly the fact that he doesn't dissuade Akira's hands.]

You can trust me now. It's not a limited time offer. Or -- in the future, sometime. [ Akira grins, a little lopsided. ]

I'm not going anywhere.

How is it that you didn't know what trust was prior to coming here, but now you're such a wellspring of it? I still don't think I know what it is. How to properly earn it, to allow it...

[He looks up at him, frowning but curious, and reaches up to pat his cheek.] ...once again, you've something I don't, except this time I've only just learned to be jealous of it.

I speed ran my friendships. [ Akira smiles a little. Coming to Tokyo, making such deep bonds in under a year... it still doesn't really feel like reality, sometimes, to think of how many people he knows, how many people care for him, how many people fight for him.

He kisses Akechi's palm, almost absently. ]

There's nothing to be jealous of. It's there for you, when you're ready to take it.

[He startles at the kiss to his palm, but doesn't recoil, tsking softly.] I know that. You're a fool so forthcoming with trust and affection you don't know how to stop. The jealousy is more that you're so in your element and happy with it. You adjusted so easily.

It wasn't... easy. It took me awhile to really think that-- anyone would want to be friends with me. But they didn't get tired of me, and they didn't move on just because they didn't need me anymore.

[ Akira still wants to be needed, of course; he needs it like a lifeline, hangs onto it when there's nothing else to hang his confidence off of, but his friends have largely solved their most pressing issues. He's helped them.

But they haven't stopped being his friends in casual, easy ways. Texts and hangouts, even if they're going to be less frequent, are still present. He feels like he has a place in their hearts. ]

Really, you're only a little later to the party than I was.

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