stealhearted | are you hurting the one you love?

[He makes a wordless sound, and after a few seconds of the contact steps forward to lean against him.] I don't want to think anymore, today.

Wanna watch your Featherman DVDs in bed? They'll probably play on my laptop. [ And not thinking from the futon is way more comfortable than the couch, Akira knows because he has done both at great length. ]

[He shakes his head slowly after mulling that over.] I know too many of the dialogue exchanges, I lack the energy required for that kind of thing. [And he probably hasn't watched them since times he doesn't want to think about, either.] I've slept so much today, could... This is a strange question but would you mind if we went somewhere? Just..., walking.

Sure. There's some parks a little ways away. We can go there. [ Not to do anything specific, but it's sort-of kind-of getting to be hanami season, so they've got a great built-in excuse for loitering, and it's a relaxing kind of atmosphere where he doesn't imagine either of them will be pressured to say something. ]

[He nods, several short motions in succession, and he pulls away to pace back over to the couch, starting to reach out and rearrange or put away the things from the box a few times before he stops, holding his hands out a moment before he brings them to his temples, pressing.]

I'm-- sorry. Can I borrow your sweater again? I'll have my own once we've done laundry. Should we do laundry? Oh-- [He tosses his hands in the air, going for his coat and digging out the key from the lining of one of the pockets to open his book safe. Crouching in front of the couch, he does just that, and lo and behold he's got a halfway decent amount of yen neatly folded and pressed into the cavity of the book. He smiles, briefly, pocketing some of it and bringing a handful of bills to Akira.] I know, you wanted to pay for things, but just. Please, let me pay you back, at least for some of it. [He's sort of desperate for some degree of functional ability, here.]

Akechi. [ Akira takes the bills, obligingly, folds them over and pockets them before he reaches back out to put a hand on Akechi's shoulder. He doesn't mention the fact that he has something like six million yen stashed around the city by a former yakuza, he just looks at Akechi, carefully. ]

We'll go for a walk. We can do laundry tomorrow. [ Breathe, before you make it worse. ] I think you're cute in my sweater. [ Because the compliment has always helped derail Akechi's thoughts by flustering him in the past, so hopefully it sticks. ]

[The hand on his shoulder makes his skin break out in goosebumps under his jacket and he sucks in a sharp breath, holds it, and exhales in a gusty sigh that comes with him swatting Akira's hand away for the cute comment.]

I'm not interested in being cute, I just don't want to be recognized. [Mission... sort of a success? At least he's vibrating a little less.] ...laundry tomorrow. And... then, perhaps we should test out some of the parameters of this distance-tether. I'd really like to not prevent you from going to school.

I'll talk to Haru about the roof plan. I can sneak you in with my gym uniform again. [ Akira's easily confident about it, because Akechi isn't. Realistically, nothing is as easy as he's making it sound, but he thinks Akechi needs this sort of backing right now. He thinks Akechi needs someone who can pretend it's easy.

He doesn't think Akechi actually wants what he needs, but they'll cross that bridge when they're under it. ]

And I'm interested in you being cute.

[He scoffs, but raises his hands to the buttons of his coat, shedding them and then his tie.] You're lucky I don't want to wear a dusty coat or I'd just wear something out of this box to spite you. [As he goes to claim the hoodie again, he rubs the pads of his gloved thumbs against the insides of his fingers until the leather creaks.] ...make sure she understands I'm not trying to put her out, and she is free to say no. Don't think I missed that she was the most visibly uncomfortable person in the room when I came downstairs earlier.

I know. [ Actually, Akira thinks it'll be good for them both -- Haru doesn't want to be angry with Akechi, especially now that he's more or less reformed, and Akechi needs to learn to interact with her as a person and not just a victim of his previous crimes. So: he plans to do it in a way that pins anything bad that happens on himself, not that it'll do much good.

He'll have to get Kawakami in on everything, which is going to be extra fun. ]

C'mon. [ Akira holds his hand out and grabs at the edge of Akechi's sleeve instead of trying to get his hand. ] We're not walking in here.

[He tugs his way back out of Akira's grip and pulls on his hoodie, having left it zipped from before-- it's almost big on him, except in the shoulders. He's only a touch broader than Akira, and really only there, but Akira had a bit more muscle definition to the rest of him that Akechi didn't so much lack as he bore leaner. He curls both his hands into loose fists and then takes a small step forward, reaching out to pinch the edge of Akira's sleeve between a thumb and forefinger to mirror his previous grasp.]

Does it help when I talk? [ About nothing in particular. He leads the way downstairs, locking the door on the way out -- it's evening now, well into it, and there wouldn't be anyone save maybe Akechi in a past life trying to get into Leblanc at this hour, but better safe than sorry.

The park is a bit of a walk away, but Akira doesn't seem to mind it, hand in his pocket as he moves. ]

It helps drown out the noise, [He answers in an almost robotic tone, distracted, and regrets it, a bit, letting go of Akira's sleeve in favor of walking an arm's length from him.] ...I. Yes, I think it does.

Okay. So, Ann's thinking of doing a student exchange trip next year. Her manager was trying to get her to expand into acting, but she's terrible at it -- we had to try and fool Yusuke back when we were infiltrating Madarame's palace, and the only reason it worked was because it was Yusuke-- [ And Akira just chatters, about his friends and their past exploits, glossing over any of the things that might be trigger topics. He doesn't talk about parents, or any of their trials and tribulations. He talks about Sumire's gymnastics and Yusuke's painting and what you can do to get paint out of fabric, and so on, as they head to the park. ]

[He drifts closer again as they walk, at first because he's skirting behind Akira to avoid the curious gaze of a passerby, and then because the sound of his voice is so soothing his gait slows and he reaches out with both hands to hold onto Akira's arm at the elbow. He doesn't walk especially close to him, really he stays about as far from him as he can, comfortably, held onto him as he is, but he closes his eyes and lets Akira's voice lull him out of his own head.]

[He doesn't know that he's actually really listening to what he's saying, periodically intoning vague agreements to show he's still hearing him speak, but not entirely digesting the stories as words, just sound. Akira's voice is an uncomfortably gentle cadence that Akechi can't put an actual word to the sensation it causes-- he supposes it's a bit like ASMR.]

[He eventually drops one of his hands from his elbow, walking with just the hand of the arm closest to him hooked at the inside of it, and he resurfaces enough that his eyes are open enough to watch where he's walking just before they reach the park. His whole body feels a bit like it's stuffed full of cotton, and he wants to be angrier that Akira is the strongest grounding force he has, but he doesn't have the energy to be angry.]

We're here. [ Akira took the long way around to help avoid anyone else on the street at night -- the last thing he needs is a drunk salaryman making an inappropriate comment and completely ruining what little gains that Akira has made with Akechi. That, and Akira's still not entirely sure Akechi is comfortable around older men at all, much less ones that leer at you at night.

He's been avoiding the thought and will continue to do so for awhile.

At any rate: by the time they get to the park, it's just about abandoned. There's a couple on the far edge, drinking canned beer and chatting, but it's nothing but trees and walkways and quiet lamplight. ]

[Akechi is arguably not comfortable with anyone, he's barely comfortable with his own damn self (and even that is mostly faked). But older men, and especially those who leer at you at night, are definitely farthest from his interests in encountering. He picks his head up when Akira announces they've arrived, taking a slow look around the place and nodding.]

...thank you, for entertaining my need to be in motion. I used to bike around Kichijoji at all hours, when I couldn't sleep.

There's a bike in Leblanc, if you want to use it. I think it might have been Sojiro's? The tires are probably flat. [ He knows Akechi can't go too far, he knows he can't go too long, but even being able to lap around Yongen-Jaya might be better than having to stay cooped up in the attic. ]

Honestly, the world still feels small now that there's no MetaVerse to go exploring in.

You should probably consider asking him before offering his belongings for loan, [He drifts closer again, standing close enough to feel the warmth of Akira's body, standing behind his shoulder and eventually setting his chin there.]

...I find the opposite to be true. Having the Metaverse made things feel more controlled, to me, therefore making it feel smaller and easier to manage.

Yeah? I always thought there was nothing like that first infiltration of a palace. [ Akira sounds a little fond. He does miss it, he thinks; he doesn't know if he'd ever turn down the opportunity, if it came knocking at his door. It has a lot less guilt for him than it does for Akechi, though; Akira's time in the MetaVerse was largely comprised of good memories, of friendship, of adrenaline highs, of cold coffee. ]

I think I just liked having somewhere to escape to. [ Somewhere that felt different. Where people didn't really know him: where he could be the threat or the criminal they thought he was, but do it in style. ]

Our experiences were pretty starkly different, [He doesn't sound irritated by reminding him of this, his tone soft and even.] ...though there was a marked difference between my usual methods and Sae's palace. [And he doesn't just mean his outfit.]

[His arm loops the rest of the way through Akira's, to where he could join their hands but chooses not to. Baby steps.] ...that, at least, we share.

[ Akira smiles a little. He doesn't hold their hands, because he's letting Akechi take the lead on this one -- he'll touch Akechi readily in private, but it's different when they're in public, and Akira doesn't want to risk crossing a line. ]

I only saw you in Sae-san's and Maruki's, but I imagine you actually did something in the middle. Stealthy but probably not quite as ready to fight the entire palace by yourself.

It varied by the day. Sometimes I'd just go into a palace to blow off steam with Loki. Other times I had specific objectives.

[He appreciates Akira just letting him do what he will and not otherwise pressing for more or anything different. He's realizing he doesn't know how to initiate most contact unless it's purposeful, like taking his elbow to guide him as he walked, and he can't readily solicit affection, but there's a strange sort of ache in his chest that lessens anytime he touches Akira, regardless of the meaning behind it.]

I know it's impossible, but sometimes I think about if we'd met earlier. I think I would have looked up to you. [ It's a dangerous topic, but Akira says it in a careful, level voice, like there's no judgement or even real regret -- just a hypothetical that he thinks about sometimes. ]

Maybe I'd have been able to change my outfit. [ He always wondered about that, but he figured it was the trade off for being able to use about two hundred persona. ]

[And Akechi is just out of sorts enough to not immediately reject the topic, distant and pensive in a way he isn't, usually. He's dulled, when he's usually very sharp and reactive.] ...I think even if we'd met earlier, I wouldn't have shared that I used the Metaverse until later.

[A snort.] Hopefully not quite like I did.

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