stealhearted | are you hurting the one you love?

[He twists his hand in Akira's a little, tapping the back of his hand once with his index finger and tilting his head curiously.] Would this help?

...I'm not sure. I'll try. [ It's all Akira can offer, really -- he's so unused to taking care of himself in a way that isn't drowning himself in taking care of other people until he can ignore his own feelings.

But. He's starting to understand. ]

I might be getting better about it. I knew I wanted you, so... I can at least tell you when there's things I want. [ Hugs, it's always hugs. ]

Okay. I think... we're both terrible at these sorts of things.

[He squeezes his fingers.] I'm wretched at most common things because I got so used to taking them I'm not sure how to do it genuinely.

[ Akira just offers a smile at Akechi. ]

We're both used to taking care of ourselves, so I think it's hard for both of us. But -- we'll get there. We've got time, now.

[He squirms.] ... the idea of having time to adjust to things is a little unsettling.

I feel like we're both actually experiencing what it's like to be teenagers for the first time. [ The world ahead of them, someone they love, that vague uncertainty combined with a sense of vague, tentative hope --

And, you know, still going into the Metaverse regularly, but that's fine. ]

[He thinks about that, nods slowly, and drops their hands to dangle between them.] Is this..., okay? [He's not sure how Akira feels about PDA. He's not sure how he feels about PDA.]

Yeah. [ There's a lot of things Akira could say -- he's not ashamed of Goro; he's proud to show Goro off -- but all of them touch too close to too many insecurities, so he doesn't say any of them at all. ]

You can tell me if it isn't. I'm always going to like touching you.

[He scrunches just one side of his face into a slight grimace, the expression making it look a bit like he has to sneeze.] Gross. [His tone, however, is just fond enough to be heard.]

I know. I'm super gross. I'm gonna get my grossness all over you. [ Akira says it playfully, bumping their shoulders together as they finally get to the park. ]

C'mon. I wasn't kidding about the boats.

[He feigns disgust, but bumps his shoulder back.]

Don't capsize us, I'm not a very good swimmer. [This is probably a lie, with as athletic as he is.]

They're really safe. I went on them with Yusuke. [ And Yusuke didn't manage to capsize them, just get them a ton of weird looks, so. Akira's pretty confident in his ability to manage this boat.

And thanks to the fact that it's a two-person novelty boat, he also feels like it's safe despite Akechi's first untimely demise. ]

Besides, I'd save you.

[He's tense about it, but the bottom line is he trusts Akira, and it was the first thing he brought up about the park so he's obviously excited for it. So he'll allow it. For a while, at least.]

Do you take all your friends on romantic boat rides, Akira? [He is absolutely just being a shit.]

No, just the boyfriends. [ So, just Goro. Akira pauses, and then, once they're seated: ]

Yusuke went with me once, but it was because he was trying to find inspiration. It was a whole journey for him. [ It's not that Akira hasn't considered Yusuke in the context of a boyfriend -- he once mentally ranked all of his friends in terms of dateability -- it's just that he's always been too focused on Akechi to ever pursue anyone else. ]

Oh, so you haven't dated him? [He's sassing, gently, easing back into the practice.]

I might have, but I was really smitten with this other guy, you see... [ Akira teases right back, because while he doesn't believe in anything quite as saccharine as love at first sight, he's sure been interested since the first time he saw Akechi. ]

Oh were you now. What a terrible blight, however did you cope? [He would have to lie to say he wasn't the same, even if he then buried the affection so completely he nearly forgot it was there at all.]

I made it my mission to charm him. It was really hard, though. [ Which is... true, but worth it in the end, given that the two of them are now on a boat in a park on a date that's kind of romantic but mostly the two of them giving each other shit and trying not to have breakdowns. ]

[He tosses his hair idly, in a specifically performative gesture.] How's that going for you?

It's going pretty well. I think I managed to charm him so well he thinks he's the lucky one, even though I'm the one that gets to date him. [ Get you a man who looks at you the way Akira looks at Akechi. ]

[He full-body flinches, recoiling from him and looking startled for a moment before an impressive band of scarlet sears across his nose to his ears.] W-well. I'm sure he's lucky, too.

Yeah. I think we're both pretty lucky. [ Akira hopes one day Akechi will be able to receive compliments without flinching; that Akechi can understand Akira's love without trying to fold in on himself to get away.

They'll get there, he thinks. They've already come so far. ]

[He looks away for the first time in a while, searching blindly to find Akira's hand again. His voice is barely audible.] I'm luckier than you realize, I think.

[ Akira just squeezes his hand. ] I know. [ Akechi is lucky. He's been brought back to life twice; he's been forgiven for things he shouldn't have been. He's gotten friends and a place to stay and all sorts of things.

But Akira also thinks that luck is newfound. For both of them, their lives leading up to meeting each other seemed like a series of unfortunate cascading failures.

So Akira's glad to see them having some luck. ]

We could use luck being on our side for awhile.

[He's quiet, then, most of the wind having gone out of his sails, but he relaxes how he sits, even if it looks a bit more like a sag.]

...it's actually rather nice out here, I'm impressed. [To change the subject.]

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