Akira Kurusu (
stealhearted) wrote2021-06-05 11:17 pm
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after me comes the flood;
[ It starts like this: Akira dreaming that he's in his high school, following a butterfly and feeling the strange tell-tale feeling of the metaverse shifting around him despite the fact that the metaverse should be gone. Akira follows along as best he can when it feels like his body is moving through air denser than ice, and he wakes up with a start to the weirdest day he's ever had in his life -- which is saying something.
So, after some consideration, having talked to his friends and seen how happy they are with what Akira can only assume is some sort of fake reality, Akira settles on the one person that probably can't be fooled either. Akira can't be the only one, right? Akechi could use multiple persona, Akechi was like Akira, so --
He texts him. ]
Hey. Has your day been weird at all?
[ Which Akechi will probably respond to with the most acerbic possible text, Akira assumes, because he can't -- he can't imagine anything else. Even though Akira phrased it like Akechi might not remember, just in case. ]
So, after some consideration, having talked to his friends and seen how happy they are with what Akira can only assume is some sort of fake reality, Akira settles on the one person that probably can't be fooled either. Akira can't be the only one, right? Akechi could use multiple persona, Akechi was like Akira, so --
He texts him. ]
Hey. Has your day been weird at all?
[ Which Akechi will probably respond to with the most acerbic possible text, Akira assumes, because he can't -- he can't imagine anything else. Even though Akira phrased it like Akechi might not remember, just in case. ]
just continues to use this icon for the moment
Oh, don't you ma'am me. Sweet or salty, for a snack? I promise I didn't cook them. [Her cooking is-- she tries, but she suffers from Set The Kitchen On Fire Syndrome similarly to her son, and therefore usually relies on pre-packaged and frozen meals.]
[Her son, for the record, is slumped in a neat little pile in the very middle of a couch a few shades lighter than his hair, but the same honeyed brown color. There's a thin blanket laid over him, and papers as well as his laptop strewn all over the coffee table in front of him. His feet are still on the floor, and it looks for all the world like he just fell asleep mid-thought. He probably did. He was so much less guarded, here.]
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Akira can't help the way he looks at Akechi. He looks -- relaxed and vulnerable. It'd be normal for him to look that way when asleep, but this Akechi clearly doesn't suffer from the chronic lack of sleep and nightmares that Akira knows for a fact plague Akechi under normal circumstances. ]
He'll have to sleep more if he wants to test well. [ Akira says, a little wryly, because he doubts Akechi will ever, in any reality, be capable of sleeping a normal human amount. ]
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[She circles around the table and sits near his head, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair.] Goro, honey, you have company.
[He curls into the blanket and proceeds to make a squashed sound in the back of his throat, stretching out and rolling onto his back to stare at his mother blearily. When he notices Akira he startles, and sits upright a fair amount faster than he probably should have.] Akira--, you didn't tell me you-- did I forget something? Were we meeting somewhere... [His mother laughs, getting up and going back to the kitchen for their tea.]
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It's... wrong, he thinks; his Akechi is a murderer (his would-be murderer). He'd never be this calm and relaxed. Akechi is always primed for betrayal, for pain, for everyone to get tired of him -- even though the Phantom Thieves have continued to (begrudgingly, in some cases) forgive him and treat him like a normal person. ]
I thought you might have stayed up too late again. [ Which is -- apt, apparently. There's a bit of Akechi's hair that's sticking up off to the side, and Akira blames the cognitive dissonance, blames Maruki, for the fact that he reaches out automatically to tug it back into place. ]
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[His face dusts pink, and he reaches up to tuck some of his hair behind his ear.] Y-yes, well. I did well on the mock exam, so I figured a smart next step would be knowing the ins and outs of the universities I'd like to try for. I got caught up taking notes and memorizing floor plans and schedules for future-student orientations...
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Or he thought he did. Maruki's words ring in his head, chasing his thoughts in circles. Did Akira want this? Did he want this de-fanged Akechi? How much of this happiness was real?
He came to ask Akechi questions. He has to, he thinks, even though he feels his willpower drifting away. ]
You could be a detective, with how detail-oriented you are. [ It's dangerous, Akira thinks. ]
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[The detective comment makes him turn sharply, his expression leaning slightly into the sharpness Akira is more used to, but then it smooths back out until he looks confused, like he didn't consciously angle his body the way he had. He can't seem to quite remember what Akira said, either.] I--'m sorry, what did you say?
[His mother comes back into the room, a tray and two mugs of tea held in her hands, which she places individually on either side of the basket of cookies. Akechi looks bewildered for a handful of seconds, first at her and then the cookies, like he's misplaced, and then he blinks and fits back into his skin, reaching out for a mug.] You should have woken me up sooner, mom.
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Should Akira leave it alone? He's never been very good at that. ]
You're pretty perfect. I bet your locker overflows with presents on Valentine's like in one of those old anime. [ This Akechi must attend school considerably more often, so his popularity must be even higher, Akira thinks. Sure, he isn't famous across the entirety of Tokyo, but...
Akira accepts the mug when Akechi's mother offers it, pretending to think. ]
I'm up against some stiff competition. [ When in doubt, flirt. ]
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[Akechi's ears burn absolutely fluorescent, in the meantime, and his mother speaks so he doesn't have to figure out what to say.] You boys have fun, okay? I'm going to clean up the kitchen and then go see Muhen. Goro, you're off tonight, so remember to take it easy, okay? You two should go to that bathhouse near Akira's cafe.
[He nods, still stunned, and claims his own mug, crossing one leg over the other the way he always has. His mother tuts and is off, and Akechi doesn't figure out how to talk again until she's hollering a pleasant salutation as she leaves the condo. When he does, it's quiet and directed at his mug.]
...it's not... competition.
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But this Akechi -- his ears are pink and he's so serious into his tea, refusing to even make eye contact like Akira has just landed a critical hit, and it takes Akira's breath away.
It's like meeting someone entirely new, this alternate Akechi that could have been. Should have been, maybe. ]
Um. [ Akira doesn't know how to get out of this one, actually. ]
...yeah? [ And then he just takes a too big sip of his tea and burns his tongue, like an idiot. ]
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...mom says we should date. She always has, always does, makes a big deal about it because you're so important to me. She says she's never seen me be so close to someone. It means a lot to her, I think, but I just... I don't want it to be just that? I can't... you're so important, I don't know that I could do right by you in that regard.
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...I'm not going anywhere. [ Akira says it, a little carefully, because he's -- not, in this world, in their own world. They had struck a truce originally, on the ship -- to overthrow Shido and then God -- and that truce still stands, even though Akira knows for a fact that Akechi has been considering taking out the remaining members of the conspiracy until someone finally manages to kill him.
So really, Akira has never been the one in any danger of going anywhere. ]
I wouldn't want you to do something because you felt like you had to. But I -- [ What is he doing? He's confessing to a fake version of Akechi in a reality he knows isn't real, one that he has to end. One that he has to end. He has to. Doesn't he? ]
-- I wouldn't say no, if you wanted to.
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[He finds Akira's hand, tugs on one of his fingers absently.] I'll be in university, soon. I don't know which, yet, but... it might not be in the area. And no, you can't drop everything and come with me like we're some kind of star-crossed lovers in one of Takamaki's romance novels.
[He folds his knees up to his chest.] Mom really cares about you too, I was going to ask you to look after her, if I wind up in a school that's not in Tokyo.
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Akira assumes that's a bit of a metaphor, but it hurts to think about. ]
I don't know if I'll be able to stay in Tokyo. [ Akira says it like he couldn't just go to Maruki and say -- hey, can you make sure this happens for my happiness? He says it like it's an actual obstacle. He doesn't know why.
He wants it to be real, maybe. ]
...But I'd come back for university. If I -- if I couldn't stay with Sojiro, I'd need... a roommate.
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[His straightforwardness is no different, at least.]
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It feels wrong, but Akira wants to drown in it a little longer. He moves his hand, slightly, lets his fingertips fall into Akechi's palm. ]
Something to keep me going if I do have to go home.
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It's all truer than he wants it to be. But Akira also knows without a shadow of a doubt, because he's already talked with Maruki --]
You could get into Todai, if you wanted to. You're smart enough -- I don't think scholarships will be a problem for you. Not really. You could go into -- [ Not law enforcement, not detective work, not television; Akira's mind stumbles briefly. ] -- medicine, or law, or... I don't know, spaceship engineering.
I just want to run a coffee shop.
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...Akira, what is this really about? You're not usually so pressed about these things.
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But he's here, and that Akechi isn't. ]
I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you. [ Akira offers Akechi a small smile that isn't anything comforting at all. ]
I'll think of a way to say it. I just need some time.
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[He squeezes Akira's fingers, rubbing his thumb against the backs of his knuckles.] Don't let something fester for my sake, okay? You're so wretched about talking when you need to, sometimes it scares me. I'm terrible with a lot of the more delicate topics, but I do care about you, I just hope you know you can talk to me. [This is a little above your head here, Akechi.]
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This Akechi feels so stripped down and bare, all that anger and hatred removed. It makes Akira's chest twist to think that he could have been this person all along. ]
I think I'm just overwhelmed trying to make sure I don't make the wrong decision for the future.
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[It's sad to consider that it could have been so easy. That if his mother hadn't taken her life, if he'd been able to stay with her, he could have grown up into an openly kinder person. His childhood still hadn't been perfect-- his mother hadn't met Muhen until he was nearly fifteen, and for years they struggled, but they made do. They had love, the most important and integral part missing from Akechi's life prior, so he had grown up softer and sweeter where he was normally barbed and acidic.]
[He'll be furious, and briefly utterly destroyed to realize what he could have been. To be smacked so thoroughly in the face with proof that having support had never been a weakness, but a strength. He knew that, deep down, and always had, but having it so plainly displayed would be impossible for him to swallow.]
[His expression stays neutral, eyes searching Akira's for anything to worry further about, but he knew when to let him slip out of a conversation. Pushing him wouldn't get him anywhere. He squeezes his fingers again.] ...it's hard, but as long as you know you don't have to shoulder the world on your own, I'll let it go for today.
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If he remembers what really was forever... ]
...Thanks. I'll support you, too. [ Akira always has, other than the murder, he thinks. ]
...This is a little weird, but I've been having some odd dreams lately. [ Akira says it delicately, broaching the subject without broaching it, because if Akechi doesn't want to remember then it's fine. It's fine. ]
So if I text you at 3AM, feel free to ignore it.
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I'll look forward to it, as long as you don't wake me up if I have an exam.
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