stealhearted | after me comes the flood;

[Emotion curdles in his stomach as he watches the nearly self-conscious gesture, the private smile. He wants this, so desperately, but he can't allow himself to have it. Least of all from Akira fucking Kurusu. He looks down at the floor between them, shrugging his shoulders gently.]

We're both relatively stubborn, so I suppose that's a fair compromise. I'm not certain I can agree to being glad to be here, so I'll let you be glad for us both.

...I can do that. [ As long as Akechi is willing to put up with him, Akira is willing to be there, to enjoy Akechi's company and to continually try to save them both from -- well, whatever seems to happen when they're alone. Terrible things for both of them, all things considered. ]

Let's go get coffee. [ Akira feels like smiles are a little weird for him, right now, when he's toeing the line of wanting to be genuine and desperately wanting to pretend everything is okay. But -- it's likely that Akechi would see right through anything fake from Akira, so. His smiles are a little smaller and a little brighter at the same time, laser focused in on Akechi.

Ahh, he's got it bad. ]

[Existential exhaustion does not become Akechi, despite how he wears most things startlingly well. He hates that for so long he made do being alone, even if he forced it on himself and only told himself so many times he was fine that he could recite the lie in his sleep, only for Akira to come along and weaken his functional ability. He hadn't known support in so long he considered it unnecessary, and now there was a handsome young man with piercing eyes and a heart of molten gold constantly vying to be there for him in every way at every turn.]

[It's nauseating.]

[But the private little smiles, honest in the way they're small and focused instead of broad enough that everyone assumes him fine, make his stomach do little somersaults while he's standing still. He draws in a breath, holds it, exhales.]

Try not to be too disappointed.

The coffee can't be that bad. [ Which -- isn't exactly what Akechi met, Akira thinks, but it's an out to the conversation. He can see the tension set in Akechi's shoulders, see the way he looks into things too deeply to be focused on them, and Akira sympathizes.

They've got a long day ahead of them, if they're the only ones infiltrating the palace. Akira doesn't want to wear them out too early with the unforgiving feeling of being Perceived.

At any rate, everything is put up, and Akira doesn't have anything to do with his hands, so he just shoves them into his pockets. It's not a morning coffee date, Akira, don't get all nervous now --

But it is just Time With Akechi (tm), so Akira likes it. ]

Lead the way.

[He doesn't have anything else to add-- so he just leads them out and locks the door again, taking them to the little cafe. The barista seems to recognize him, but also seems aware that the fact that he looks like he's been hit by a truck means she shouldn't make that apparent, but she does include a freebie pair of pastries with their coffees, to which Akechi has no idea how to react.]

[He stands very still with the small bag that is very pointedly looped around his wrist as he goes to claim his coffee, and doesn't quite figure out how to reanimate.]

[ Akira, for his part, can't quite turn the part of him that makes friends wherever he goes off, so he's polite and attentive to the barista; he thanks her for the pastries and comments on the menu; they briefly talk coffee shop talk for a moment before he excuses himself to hover close enough to Akechi that the barista gets a knowing look in her eye.

Akira leans over to bump his shoulder against Akechi's -- carefully, because they're both holding coffee by that point -- and give him an easy look. ]

Do you want to sit for awhile? I can tell you what I learned when I went to his Palace. [ If they discuss it in public -- since it isn't like anyone around them will care; they're in a fake reality -- it helps guarantee that Akira will not have another unfortunate breakdown. Probably. ]

[Akira's shoulder bump is well-timed and jostles him out of the perplexed bootloop Akechi had gotten stuck in, and he jolts, holding his coffee cup a little tighter than needed for a moment. He turns sharply, looking strangely hunted for a moment before he looks Akira over and slowly calms back down.]

...I don't want to stay long, but fine.

I didn't get very far, so it won't be that long of a conversation. [ Akira offers him a smile before he sits down -- the smile is a little more of the kind of smile you'd expect from Akira's public persona, instead of the smiles he's started showing when it's just the two of them.

He takes a sip of the coffee, and, to his credit, he doesn't grimace: the coffee is... okay. Not great, but palatable enough.

The point is that it's caffeine. ]

It's in Odaiba. It's a palace, but he doesn't have a shadow -- it's really him ruling over it. I guess because he's altering reality, he can do that.

[He sets the bag of pastries down on their table and dutifully ignores it, sipping at his coffee and wishing, quietly, that it had adhered to the perfect reality concept, just for today. It's a bit fitting that since he's remembered he remembers that it wasn't fantastic, but he drinks at it anyway for a similar reason as Akira. Caffeine is caffeine when you're in as much of a state as the two of them are.]

[He carefully sets his cup down.]

I don't doubt there are quite a lot of things he can accomplish here that he may not otherwise have been able to. We need to proceed with caution, and I know how difficult that can be for you.

[ Akira is pretty sure the coffee can't be perfect because Leblanc already has the perfect coffee, and that's perfection as far as Akira is concerned -- but also the coffee budget of most other coffee shops is probably not as high as Leblanc, thanks to Sojiro's retirement fund. ]

I'm cautious when I need to be. It's just the two of us, right now. [ Akira hesitates, because it isn't that he wants to insult Akechi -- he's extremely capable. He's stronger than Akira, more than likely. ]

I'm more concerned with slowing you down.

[He considers that, closing his eyes and eventually shaking his head.]

I managed on my own as long as I did because I knew what I was up against. I spent most of my time in Mementos, the Palaces I traversed weren't places I went guns blazing.

In raw strength, I think you outclass me. I just had backup. [ The only time they've really fought one on one, after all, Akechi was specifically not using his full power. ]

But it just means we'll have to work together more than usual. I don't know all of your capabilities, but it'll probably be better if I run support. [ Akira has a lot of persona with healing and defensive abilities, after all. ]

Anyway -- I can draw a little map of the part that I got into. Kasumi helped, but I haven't been able to get ahold of her for a couple days. Her phone is really unreliable. [ Which is the only reason Akira hasn't worried. ]

[He hums, agreeable to the notion. He had been running Mementos solo longer than the Thieves had been active at all, and between the two of them he was slightly broader, in most regards. Akira was agile, he was quick, but Akechi likely was the victor when it came to brute strength. They were roughly on par with one another in terms of tactical approach, though Akira won out with having experience with arranging a team. He raised a hand and seemed to count on his fingers a moment, opening his eyes and watching his fingers shift for a moment in silence.] You have more support skills, and you will run yourself down faster, so you'll be in charge of items, as well. Focus on yourself, primarily, I'll let you know if I need something. [He won't, but it sounds nice to Akira's savior complex, he's sure.]

[He raises his eyes and a flash of confusion crosses his face. Kasumi? Who was--?] ...Yoshizawa. She really ought to have that thing replaced.

Apparently her perfect world doesn't involve a working phone. [ Which, you know. Fair. Akira doesn't think his phone is that high on anyone's priority list, save for maybe. Futaba. ]

You're going to hate it, though. It's all white. The shadows are all doctors and they try to give you therapy. [ Akira's tone is very, very dry, because he tried therapy and didn't think it went that bad. About that! ]

There's calming mood music.

[He actually snorts, bringing his coffee to his lips again and laying the hand he was counting on flat against the table.] I can't blame her for that.

[He sneers, clearly already disgusted by the Palace, but shrugs.] I would have hated it regardless, having it be as garish and overblown as his ideals will just incite rage and help me kill things faster.

...I'm actually kind of looking forward to this. I've never worked with you when all your limiters are off. [ Akira sounds a little -- curious, almost? Akechi had helped with Shido; with Yaldabaoth; but the Akechi that he showed then -- quietly furious and deeply controlled in his tension -- is different than the Akechi he thinks he'll see now. This Akechi is tired; this Akechi is furious and doesn't need to pull back from that in front of Akira. ]

[His expression pinches, and he regards Akira critically. He has the least reason to keep himself in check around him, the least reason to fear his reaction to the sheer incandescence of Loki's influence, of letting his anger push him forward. But at this point, he's too tired to rein himself in. He doesn't care what anyone thinks of him anymore. He wants to be done with it all, and he wants to hide away from the perception of anyone when it's over.]

[He takes another long sip of his coffee.] I won't bother trying to understand why you want to see me at my most exhausted and unwilling to check my behavior for anyone else's benefit, but I'll tell you now to not expect any apologies if I offend you.

I like seeing you when you're genuine. [ Akira doesn't tell Akechi that Akechi being 'genuine' also includes a certain amount of detective prince behaviors, because he knows Akechi won't believe him, but it's quantifiably true. Akechi is absolutely a mix of the personas he tried to wield in public.

Akira likes both options, which is almost upsetting with how far he's fallen. ]

I always wanted to see more of the you that you kept hidden. ...Sorry, that's a little weird, isn't it? [ Akira shakes his head a little, then goes back, tapping out a quick list of what he'd seen when he'd briefly infiltrated. ]

The shadows I fought myself -- I mostly tried to avoid them -- had a few weaknesses, so if we stock up on some items to help cover any gaps...

[Akechi's eyebrows raise, but he keeps his eyes fixed on his coffee, setting it down to self-consciously adjust his gloves.] I feel like sometimes you really don't think very hard before you say things. [He's starting to wonder if that's mostly a side effect of dealing with him, specifically.]

[Tracing the outer edge of the lid of his coffee, he hums, nodding.] I've never had much choice on what items or what quantity of them I'm able to carry, it's a matter of what I find. [He lacks a source like Takemi, is what he's saying.]

I'm winging it more often than you'd think. [ Akira sometimes chooses to stay quiet, and he thinks a little about reacting to, like, teachers, but Akechi? Nah. He usually goes with his instinct. ]

I'll have to make a couple stops, but I can get us stocked up. Even if the Phantom Thieves didn't "exist" in this reality, it seems like all the money I collected still does. [ Which is to say that Akira is... well-off, in terms of finances. ]

It'll be worth it to cover our weaknesses.

I was aiming to be somewhat charitable. [Meaning he is well aware you frequently don't think. He shifts the sleeve on his coffee cup, nodding.]

And I imagine you want me to accompany you on these stops.

You don't have to, if there's something you need to be doing. I just thought it's better than being alone. [ Akira traces the rim of his coffee cup, almost absentmindedly; he can handle seeing Iwai, Takemi, and so on -- their perfect worlds aren't that different from reality -- but he doesn't like to think about Akechi sitting at home in that apartment. ]

[He doesn't look up. He understands what Akira is getting at, and... Can't decide what he thinks about it, really. For so long he's wanted someone to care, and here Akira is, caring freely. Wanting nothing but his company in exchange.]

[His stomach turns, and he brings a hand to lay the backs of his fingers against his lips, closing his eyes. At this point he thinks he'd like to be sick, but then Akira would just fret. He gathers himself, swallows, and draws in a careful breath, moving his hands.] I don't need a babysitter.

It's not babysitting. I'm not -- it's just... [ Akira looks away, and his hand goes back up to his hair, without thinking about it; his posture is a little hunched over, like he's trying to make himself a little bit smaller without going full meltdown about it. ]

...I was alone, in Leblanc. For awhile. So I just -- I think about you being alone in your condo, with the rest of the world moving on without you because they're all happy, and I don't want that. Even if it's only me, I don't want to move on without you.

I'm used to being unwanted, Kurusu, if you haven't forgotten. It isn't an unwelcome reminder to me that the world turns without paying me any mind. [He's-- frustrated. Akira is frustrating. He wants to care for him and pay attention to him and he doesn't want to "move on without him", but he's not taking into consideration that he may want to be forgotten. All he wanted for years was to be seen, for someone to recognize what he did, and now the idea is soured in his heart and his mind because he had it, he had the attention of all of Japan and some of the whole world, but it was all a lie. It was fake, and he was setting himself up.]

[So he thinks he's allotted some time to be forgotten. Or maybe he'd just like to forget himself.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject