stealhearted | after me comes the flood;

[ It takes Akira a minute to rouse. Akechi was there, and then he wasn't -- Akira processes him disentangling himself, but only partially, in the way he only partially processes it when Morgana jumps on him in the middle of the night. It's the lack of Morgana and the lack of any coffee and curry in the air that finally gets him to wake up, and he shuffles out of the bed with a yawn.

He slept okay, he thinks. Probably slept harder given that yesterday was a little emotional. Today he'll probably have to fight Maruki... best not to think about it.

He steps out into the living room -- and then stops, hesitantly, looking at Akechi. The curry never got put away. Akira debates what to do for a long second, and then: ]

... do you keep coffee in your kitchen?

[He flinches, and stays still in the pillow for a moment while he tries to figure out how much face he can save. When he realizes the pillow beneath him is damp and so are his eyes, he realizes "not much" and sits up, scrubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes.]

Just-- instant, garbage. Give me a minute, there's a convenience store with decent brews this early on the corner. [He manages to keep his voice steady, somehow, but once he's done talking he settles with the heels of his hands in his eyes for a moment, swearing under his breath.]

[ Akira steps over to Akechi. Reaches out to cup Akechi's face in his hands, stroking his thumbs along the line of his jaw. ]

I can go get some. I -- [ Akira takes in a breath, because the impact of last night -- of the past two weeks -- can't just vanish that easily. His smile is a little crooked when he manages it, but it doesn't matter, because Akechi isn't looking right now anyway. ]

-- I'll feel better if I can do things for you.

[He draws in a breath and holds it, exhales with only a slight tremor, and moves his hands. He's a wreck.]

And I would really prefer you didn't, [He offers, in as much of a harsh tone as he can muster with wet eyelashes and red-rimmed eyes.] Just... give me five minutes, I'll wash my face. I forgot to put up your curry, so we'll need something to eat, too.

At least let me buy your coffee. If you have to drink coffee that isn't mine, you can at least have it for free. [ Akira steps back, releases his grip on Akechi. Akechi is -- the same; he won't accept the offer of comfort, but he doesn't reject it quite as readily as he once might have.

Akira wonders if it's because Akechi is realizing that Akira is, actually, not quite as put together as he seems.

Akira steps back to fetch the abandoned curry before stepping over to throw it away. Akechi's trash is very diligently sorted, and Akira wonders if that was him or his mother. ]

I'll wash this out.

[Both, really-- he learned the habit from his mother when he was young. He stays seated on the couch while Akira claims the forgotten container and dumps it in the compost, smudging his hands over his eyes until they itch less.]

[Truthfully, he's not sure why he's less spiteful at Akira, now. It's possibly in some small part because of his near-breakdown, or of his own current one, or the fact that they're both in a state of disrepair that really only the other fully understands. He doesn't want to be understood, not really, but... Coming from someone like Akira, who is possibly just as fucked up as he is, it's less of a blow to his pride.]

Sorry, I meant to put it up.

It's fine. I'll ... cook you dinner, tonight, maybe. Depending on how everything goes. [ Which is to say, if no one else wakes up from the fake reality, Akira really, really does not want to be in Leblanc. More than that, when he isn't in Leblanc, it doesn't seem like he's really missed, either -- a text here and there about whether he'll be back, but no one bothers him. No one worries.

He supposes that's the "perfection" of this world, but it's mostly just the freedom to stay in the safe space of Akechi's apartment. ]

[He hugs the ugly pillow back to himself a moment.] I don't... have much in the way of cookware, you might find that difficult.

I'll buy you a stock pot. You've gotta have a knife. [ Surely even Akechi has to cut things, right? Outside of the Metaverse, at any rate: he's certainly got the pointy object niche covered as far as that goes, given the way his fingers are blades half the time.

Which Akira actually thinks is kind of hot, and that thought trail is how he knows he's avoiding his problems. Cool, cool, cool. Neat and cool. ]

I can't... be in Leblanc until everyone else remembers. So I'll just have to bring the curry and coffee to you. [ He says it with a smile that clearly says 'please don't kick me out'. ]

[He angles himself to look over the back of the couch at him, and points to a knife block in the corner.] It was... a Christmas gift, one year, I believe. Someone at the precinct said I looked like a foodie. I occasionally use them to put jam on toast.

You are a foodie, you're just not the kind that cooks for yourself. [ He's read your blog. He has your photos saved to a folder on his phone labelled FUTABA NO that she usually, usually respects and does not look into, but sometimes she does and it's usually to make fun of him.

He goes over to inspect the blades, since he's done washing out the curry container and setting it to dry. They're... they could be in worse shape, given they're used to put jam on toast instead of actually cut vegetables. ]

That's why you know me.

I disagree, but you are correct that I don't cook for myself. Unless you include the microwave. I'm lucky to live in a condo with a decent kitchen at all, but it goes a bit to waste.

[He folds his knees up and curls around them and the pillow in his grasp, entirely forgetting he planned to wash his face so they could go get konbini coffee.] But if you're offering to cook for me, I suppose it wouldn't be right to refuse your presence.

You've been pretty emphatic about refusing it up to now. [ Akira -- likes, Akechi; he likes being able to spend time with him, he likes being able to listen to him, even if he's being caustic and insulting, but Akechi seemed so intent on removing even that. Killing Akira; dying; being in jail -- he was steadily removing every avenue of contact Akira could get to him by.

No wonder Maruki gave him Akechi-lite, honestly. ]

... I'm more jealous of the bathroom, though. [ Yeah, he'll just skirt around the subjects that hurt him, apparently. ]

So much that a false reality provided you with a me who relied on you too much. [Sorry for your attempt to skirt away from that one, Akira.]

[Akechi... doesn't really know what he thinks of Akira, in all honesty. It's been an ugly tangle of raw emotions for a long time, and between shooting him in the head, nearly dying, and throwing himself bodily at turning himself in to face the consequences of what he'd done, he hadn't made time to unravel any of them. He needed Akira functional, specifically for the purpose of them fighting Maruki, and especially under the pretense that it might only be them, but beyond that it was hard for him to quantify his view on the guy.]

[He was interesting. They'd been rivals. Then abruptly, Akira had gotten too close too fast, and Akechi was still reeling from how hard he'd backpedaled trying to get away.]

[He sets the pillow aside and stands.] Don't be jealous of anything here, I never chose this space nor did I ever really claim it as my own. I live here because it wasn't conducive to what I was trying to accomplish to defy what was provided for me.

I don't... know if like you because I want to fix you, or because I need to be needed, or -- whatever it is. But I do like you better the way you are. Even if that means you can't stand to be around me. [ Akira clenches his fists a little before he manages to relax them, because it isn't fair for him to take anything out on Akechi right now when they're both so emotionally raw. ]

I really didn't like that reality better. [ He was just afraid everyone else did.

Akira sighs. ]

Let's go get coffee. [ At least it seems like Akira is done trying to pretend things are even remotely okay. ]

[He stares at the coffee table for a while in silence, closing his eyes.]

You'll have to forgive my suspicion of that statement's truth. Let me wash my face. [He moves away, disappearing back into his bedroom and-- struggling, a little, to wash his face, because his left hand is wrapped in bloody gauze. He keeps it on, washes his face, and then changes the gauze, pulling on a pair of gloves primarily to not get questions about the bandaging.]

[He doesn't look much better when he comes back out into the hall, but he doesn't really think it matters, anyway.]

[ Akira hesitates for a long moment when he sees Akechi, and then finally steps forward. ]

... can I touch you? [ Akechi has been in jail for several weeks, under the radar, and all of that has been completely forgotten in this world -- and it seems like his fame is less, since no one has been obsessed with him -- but...

His appearance is probably still important to him, and he still kind of looks like shit. ]

I -- uh, I can fix your hair. I help with Futaba's, sometimes.

[He appreciates that he's asking, at least, though when he looks up his eyebrows just sort of crease together and he squints.]

...it's just the convenience store, and I don't think anyone remembers who I am, anyway. If anything, going out looking awful promises they won't. [He didn't... confirm or deny if contact was acceptable.]

[ Akira steps back. He's wary of being too stifling; of being too needy; of being all the things that Akechi seems to hate about him. He doesn't know how he wants things to progress, really. He just --

wants for things to be different. But not in the way that they were, he supposes. ]

Yeah. [ Akira doesn't look too great anyway, but he doesn't look as bad as Akechi. ]

[He considers a spot on the floor between them for a while, and then looks back up at him.]

...why is it that you're so fixated on me? I've never understood.

You aren't going to believe any of it. [ Akira says, wryly, because he knows Akechi that well after all this time. ]

I'm sure you'll say you were faking it all, but you're... smart. You're determined. You're stubborn. You're funny, and you're sarcastic, and you're strong, and you're more capable than you give yourself credit for. You ... made a lot of mistakes because you got dealt a shit hand, but you still -- I think you're incredible.

[ Akira couldn't have done half of that, he doesn't think. He couldn't have done half of what Akechi did all on his own. ]

[He keeps his face held very carefully neutral, despite the fact that everything Akira says is pelting him like rain and soaking into his skin, hot and cold at the same time.]

[I think you're incredible echoes for a while in the suddenly vastly empty expanse of his brain.]

[He closes his eyes after a few seconds too long of them stinging.]

I'd be flattered if you weren't entirely off base. I'm not incredible, and I never have been. I'm just a very, very good actor. [He opens his eyes again and gives Akira a painfully rueful smile that looks a little like it hurts to maintain, and steps past him toward the genkan of his condo.] Let's go get our coffee.

[ Akira allows the subject to drop, because he's realized he isn't much better with genuine praise than Akechi is, and pushing isn't going to do either of them any good. So he just offers Akechi a smile that's too small to be fake. ]

If you keep letting me come over, I'm buying a pour over for you. [ Akira steps forward to tug his shoes back on. He took them off in a hurry, yesterday. ]

[He stops in the genkan, his face still very carefully held neutral. It's something Akira may or may not be familiar with, when his face stays this still, because it's usually because he's suppressing something he doesn't want to show.]

[Conceal, don't feel.]

...if it's easier for you to be here until we've destroyed Maruki, I won't turn down access to good coffee without making the trek to Yongen-Jaya.

[ It's not exactly the largest concession, but it's -- something. Progress, probably. It'll all be undone when Akechi goes back to jail, Akira is sure, but it's a start.

Akira doesn't know what he wants these days, but he knows he wants Akechi. Once his shoes are on, he steps outside.

He can't say he doesn't want to leave Akechi alone, but it's true. He thinks being alone in that condo right now is... not a good idea. ]

All I want in exchange is bathtub access.

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