[He's still struggling, he realizes, because seeing the simple setup does something to the effect of taking a large flat utensil and scraping all of his insides out of his body into a pile on the floor. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, just a bit at first and then to the point he's chewing on it wholesale, but it doesn't really do much.]
[He was so convinced. He was so sure, and he still wants to be, because if he's sure and he's convinced it won't hurt when it happens, but Akira's gone and made him coffee, and put little carrots in a ziploc baggie, and there's some kind of sauce on the side to dip them in, and his brain finally decides to be logical. Or entirely illogical, as bursting into sudden inconsolable tears over carrots might just be the most ridiculously foolish thing he's ever done, but here he is.]
[He brings one hand, then both to his mouth, to his whole face, and he makes a terrible, plaintive little sound and sinks right back into the same crouch he'd been in in the bathroom. His knees protest, a little, but he's too busy not breathing.]
no subject
[He was so convinced. He was so sure, and he still wants to be, because if he's sure and he's convinced it won't hurt when it happens, but Akira's gone and made him coffee, and put little carrots in a ziploc baggie, and there's some kind of sauce on the side to dip them in, and his brain finally decides to be logical. Or entirely illogical, as bursting into sudden inconsolable tears over carrots might just be the most ridiculously foolish thing he's ever done, but here he is.]
[He brings one hand, then both to his mouth, to his whole face, and he makes a terrible, plaintive little sound and sinks right back into the same crouch he'd been in in the bathroom. His knees protest, a little, but he's too busy not breathing.]