Akira Kurusu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stealhearted) wrote2021-02-11 10:02 pm
stealhearted) wrote2021-02-11 10:02 pm
Entry tags:
are you hurting the one you love?
psst psst [clicks tongue for akechi, sets out curry as a treat]--
[ Akira is moving the second Akechi crumples. He moves forward automatically, with a dim portion of his brain registering how glad he is that he timed this right, since the only other people at the bath house is just a singular elderly man already in the water and nowhere near their line of sight. Akira drops down, one hand on either side of Akechi's face, drifting to hold him steady, to feel the heat of his skin, to transfer some of Akira's own heat to him. ]
Akechi -- Goro. Goro, stay with me. [ He can hear each ragged breath that Akechi is dragging in, hear the way the breaths are a staccato rhythm that's too fast, too shallow. It's not nearly enough when Akechi is curling in on himself, gripping himself like he's already back there.
Akira calculates his odds, rapidly, and then reaches forward, pressing two fingers just above the scar, where the skin is only pink instead of a swollen red, where he can still feel the pounding of Akechi's heart. His palm closes over Akechi's hand, the two of them pressing over a wound that isn't going to bleed again. ]
I've got you. [ Akira is comforting both of them, he thinks: it's a reminder that the last time he didn't save Akechi, but he did, he brought him back. It wasn't fast enough. It wasn't soon enough, but he's managed it in the end, which has to count for something.
Akira doesn't know what guilt he's trying to assuage.
Akira's hand leaves Akechi's cheek, goes up to press against that hand, too, lacing their fingers together as he holds onto Akechi. ]
I've got you.
Akechi -- Goro. Goro, stay with me. [ He can hear each ragged breath that Akechi is dragging in, hear the way the breaths are a staccato rhythm that's too fast, too shallow. It's not nearly enough when Akechi is curling in on himself, gripping himself like he's already back there.
Akira calculates his odds, rapidly, and then reaches forward, pressing two fingers just above the scar, where the skin is only pink instead of a swollen red, where he can still feel the pounding of Akechi's heart. His palm closes over Akechi's hand, the two of them pressing over a wound that isn't going to bleed again. ]
I've got you. [ Akira is comforting both of them, he thinks: it's a reminder that the last time he didn't save Akechi, but he did, he brought him back. It wasn't fast enough. It wasn't soon enough, but he's managed it in the end, which has to count for something.
Akira doesn't know what guilt he's trying to assuage.
Akira's hand leaves Akechi's cheek, goes up to press against that hand, too, lacing their fingers together as he holds onto Akechi. ]
I've got you.
[The fingers threaded in his hair curl, fingernails dragged against his scalp, and he pulls on his hair in a squeezing motion that he times with his own heartbeat at the sensation of Akira's hands on his face. He has been through so much, he can deal with this. Akira is right there, watching him have the fourth disastrous fit since he's been back in his life (which could be a perfectly acceptable number had he not only been back in his life for barely twnety-four hours), and all he was trying for was to keep him grounded. He hears him speak, but it sounds like he's underwater, the words garbled and far away, and he just shakes his head, because he can't process words right now, come back later, Akira.]
[His hand over his heart covered, he takes in the first full breath of air he's taken since he noticed the scar, which feels like hours and seconds all at once, and a moment later he picks his head up and once again regrets looking where he wants, because all he sees is the same scar on his chest between Akira's eyes again. His hand slips out from under Akira's, his other from his hair, and he crawls his way forward to set one hand on his shoulder and the other against his forehead, lost in two separate memories he never really wanted to live through the first time.]
[His hand over his heart covered, he takes in the first full breath of air he's taken since he noticed the scar, which feels like hours and seconds all at once, and a moment later he picks his head up and once again regrets looking where he wants, because all he sees is the same scar on his chest between Akira's eyes again. His hand slips out from under Akira's, his other from his hair, and he crawls his way forward to set one hand on his shoulder and the other against his forehead, lost in two separate memories he never really wanted to live through the first time.]
Edited 2021-03-06 00:59 (UTC)
Goro. [ Akira can tell he still isn't seeing, still trapped in that memory. Akira still has dreams about dying -- about something going wrong; about Akechi killing him; about the officers interrogating him beating him until they did more damage than he could recover from -- but it must be a thousand times worse for Akechi. Akira has had several months to slowly get over the feelings surrounding it, and he didn't actually die.
Akechi's got him beat 2-0, at this point.
But words aren't working, and Akira has always been a creature of impulse and plans made on the fly more than anything else. In that regard, he's just about the opposite of Akechi, preferring to react on instinct more than anything else. So he leans in, dragging his hands through Akechi's hair and pressing their lips together.
It's a chaste kiss, as far as these things go. It's meant to startle and distract more than anything else, because Akechi is too worked up for it to be much else, but it's one of the things that Akira has never done before and definitely something that Akechi can't paste over with memories from the ship. ]
Akechi's got him beat 2-0, at this point.
But words aren't working, and Akira has always been a creature of impulse and plans made on the fly more than anything else. In that regard, he's just about the opposite of Akechi, preferring to react on instinct more than anything else. So he leans in, dragging his hands through Akechi's hair and pressing their lips together.
It's a chaste kiss, as far as these things go. It's meant to startle and distract more than anything else, because Akechi is too worked up for it to be much else, but it's one of the things that Akira has never done before and definitely something that Akechi can't paste over with memories from the ship. ]
[It does it's job to snap him back to the present, a sharp gasp burning his lungs from how little he thought about it when he hasn't been breathing right for the better part of a few minutes, the burn then proceeding to crawl up his esophagus and tear its way out of his eyes. He makes a terrible, wobbly little sound, about as fragile as he feels, and drags the hand on Akira's forehead backward through his hair and around, dragging him forward and either ignoring or not even registering the fact that they're having this breakdown on the floor of a bath house while they're both completely naked.]
[It's fine,]
I didn't mean it, [He manages, his voice high and stretched thin like over-pulled taffy.] I didn't-- I'm sorry, I would take it back.
[It's fine,]
I didn't mean it, [He manages, his voice high and stretched thin like over-pulled taffy.] I didn't-- I'm sorry, I would take it back.
You're okay now. I've got you. [ And Akira leans forward, presses his forehead against Akechi's. His eyelashes flutter when he blinks, when he takes in a breath and tries to figure out exactly how a trip to the bath house went so amazingly sideways.
It figures that neither of them would have noticed this scar earlier and been able to have this entire breakdown at, like, Leblanc, instead. Of course not. That'd be too easy.
Akira pets down the side of Akechi's hair, slowly, a comforting gesture like the kind that Futaba said her mom used to do, the kind that she taught Akechi to do. It's not something Akira is familiar with on a general level, but -- anything that'll help, right now. ]
I've got you, Goro.
It figures that neither of them would have noticed this scar earlier and been able to have this entire breakdown at, like, Leblanc, instead. Of course not. That'd be too easy.
Akira pets down the side of Akechi's hair, slowly, a comforting gesture like the kind that Futaba said her mom used to do, the kind that she taught Akechi to do. It's not something Akira is familiar with on a general level, but -- anything that'll help, right now. ]
I've got you, Goro.
[Were he any more aware of anything he might be proud of himself for not sobbing, but then again he didn't think he ever really sobbed when he cried, save for the times he cried as a small child, which he especially doesn't remember. He lets Akira's petting soothe him, lets it carefully put him back on somewhat solid ground, even if he's heaving with how hard it is to breathe.]
I don't-- [He keeps his arms around Akira's shoulders, squeezes him.] I don't remember telling you you could call me by my first name. [Ah, there he is.]
I don't-- [He keeps his arms around Akira's shoulders, squeezes him.] I don't remember telling you you could call me by my first name. [Ah, there he is.]
[ Akira nuzzles into him, automatically, like a cat trying to scent-mark a familiar person, Akira's hair a soft trickle against Akechi's skin. ]
There you are. It got your attention, didn't it? [ Since calling "Crow" would have been just the absolute worst idea, under the circumstances, and "Akechi" wouldn't have gotten his attention... at any rate, it's a gentle admission that Akira doesn't plan on doing it routinely.
Yet. ]
There you are. It got your attention, didn't it? [ Since calling "Crow" would have been just the absolute worst idea, under the circumstances, and "Akechi" wouldn't have gotten his attention... at any rate, it's a gentle admission that Akira doesn't plan on doing it routinely.
Yet. ]
That just means I can be the first! [ Akira says it triumphantly, like he's determined to be as many of Akechi's "firsts" as possible. Well, first since Akechi was a child, he imagines. ]
It's a cute name. [ It's all detective-y and surprisingly old-fashioned, so Akira's weirdly partial to it, which could just be because he's head over heels for Akechi. Akira waits a minute, and then, carefully: ] Can you stand okay?
It's a cute name. [ It's all detective-y and surprisingly old-fashioned, so Akira's weirdly partial to it, which could just be because he's head over heels for Akechi. Akira waits a minute, and then, carefully: ] Can you stand okay?
[He's still kind of leaking from his facial orifices and hates that, so he just squeezes his hold on Akira's shoulders a moment before he draws back, nodding and smearing one hand over his face like an embarrassed child.] Mmn. I'm-- sorry, that... was an entirely overblown reaction.
It wasn't. I guess it wasn't there, in January? [ Back when Akechi was ... cognitive, and yet somehow not. That entire thing straddled the line of reality, so Akira supposes it isn't too strange to imagine that Maruki would have brought him back without signs of his death.
Reality, generally, seems to be less kind. Akira moves slightly, slowly helping Akechi back up to his feet. If Akechi doesn't immediately shove him off, Akira will take one of the bath towels and gently press it to Akechi's face -- it's not that Akechi is embarrassing to Akira, but Akira thinks Akechi feels better when he can more easily hide any signs that he has human emotions. ]
Reality, generally, seems to be less kind. Akira moves slightly, slowly helping Akechi back up to his feet. If Akechi doesn't immediately shove him off, Akira will take one of the bath towels and gently press it to Akechi's face -- it's not that Akechi is embarrassing to Akira, but Akira thinks Akechi feels better when he can more easily hide any signs that he has human emotions. ]
Given how that bastard had chosen to twist everything up to be everyone's "happy ending", I guess it makes sense.
[He puts two fingers over the scar again, easily manhandled into standing again. He makes a vaguely irritated humming sound at the towel, but claims it with his other, relatively pointedly leaning into Akira's side. ...despite them still being naked. It's still fine. Smudging the towel over his face a moment, he turns to look at Akira, frowning and serious, before moving the hand from his scar and pushing his fringe aside to make sure there isn't a matching one between his eyes. Obviously there wasn't, because he hadn't killed the real Akira, only the cognitive one, but a bit of tension goes out of his shoulders when he only encounters smooth skin, anyway.]
[He puts two fingers over the scar again, easily manhandled into standing again. He makes a vaguely irritated humming sound at the towel, but claims it with his other, relatively pointedly leaning into Akira's side. ...despite them still being naked. It's still fine. Smudging the towel over his face a moment, he turns to look at Akira, frowning and serious, before moving the hand from his scar and pushing his fringe aside to make sure there isn't a matching one between his eyes. Obviously there wasn't, because he hadn't killed the real Akira, only the cognitive one, but a bit of tension goes out of his shoulders when he only encounters smooth skin, anyway.]
Don't worry, I'm alive and kicking. [ Much to the chagrin of his enemies, he's sure. Akira casts a glance back at the door, hedging bets on how long they have until people do start to come in -- and given Akechi looks like he just had a crying fit, with a bruise on his cheek and a fresh scar on his chest, Akira thinks maybe it's something that should be avoided. ]
Let's take that bath before the rush hits. [ Despite the fact that Akira is nearly an adult, he will spray Akechi with the water when they shower down ahead of time. ]
Let's take that bath before the rush hits. [ Despite the fact that Akira is nearly an adult, he will spray Akechi with the water when they shower down ahead of time. ]
[Given that Akechi just did have a crying fit, with a bruise and a fresh scar-- it's fine. He might even admit to any concerned old men that Akira had saved him from a broken home, in the most fake tone of voice ever.]
[He takes a few steadying breaths and nods, disengaging from him-- he was finding that harder every time he did it, which bode terribly for his ability to actually pull away when it mattered. Getting sprayed down elicits a sharp bark of sound from Akechi, regardless-- it's not quite a laugh, but almost, and he overturns a plastic bucket and flings it at him like a frisbee without missing a beat.] How do you stand coming to a public bath house anytime you get clean? This will be what really kills me, finally.
[He takes a few steadying breaths and nods, disengaging from him-- he was finding that harder every time he did it, which bode terribly for his ability to actually pull away when it mattered. Getting sprayed down elicits a sharp bark of sound from Akechi, regardless-- it's not quite a laugh, but almost, and he overturns a plastic bucket and flings it at him like a frisbee without missing a beat.] How do you stand coming to a public bath house anytime you get clean? This will be what really kills me, finally.
It's definitely the worst part of living here. [ A beat, and then: ] Also not having a door. [ It's not that Akira requires too much privacy, given that Sojiro leaves every night anyway and has been nothing but accommodating of the fact that Akechi, his "relationship status complicated" is now living in the attic with him, but still.
He misses having a door, and a bath. ]
But you get used to it. [ And make friends with all the elderly old men that frequent the bath houses, and then make friends with their wives, and suddenly you have a 50-year old recipe for inarizushi and they're giving you endless amounts of mochi on New Year's. ]</small<
He misses having a door, and a bath. ]
But you get used to it. [ And make friends with all the elderly old men that frequent the bath houses, and then make friends with their wives, and suddenly you have a 50-year old recipe for inarizushi and they're giving you endless amounts of mochi on New Year's. ]</small<
[He takes his time washing his hair, listening to Akira and humming thoughtfully about it, nodding before he fills up one of the plastic buckets and douses himself with it a few times to rinse his hair.]
...I'm hoping I won't have to. [His tone is a little... odd, saying that, because even if that much is true, because he doesn't want to be stuck to Akira like this, he's starting to wonder if maybe, just maybe, it would be okay to stick around. Just... maybe not in the sense of being forced to live in a storage loft with him.]
...I'm hoping I won't have to. [His tone is a little... odd, saying that, because even if that much is true, because he doesn't want to be stuck to Akira like this, he's starting to wonder if maybe, just maybe, it would be okay to stick around. Just... maybe not in the sense of being forced to live in a storage loft with him.]
I'm not sure you'd actually get used to it. [ Akira is an extremely adaptable individual with a much higher tolerance for inconvenience, he's learned, whereas he's fairly certain Akechi would be annoyed at the sun if it shone too brightly when he was trying to concentrate. He's that kind of a person.
At any rate, Akira glosses over the future of where they're going to stay -- Leblanc for now, and he'll figure out if he's going home or if they're going to have to figure something out. His probation is technically over soon, so if he needs to start doing correspondence school, he can, he'd just... really rather not.
Akira doesn't take long to rinse off: as mentioned, his hair just gets washed with normal soap and he comes out smelling fresh and citrus-y when he's ready to actually soak. ]
But hopefully you won't have to.
At any rate, Akira glosses over the future of where they're going to stay -- Leblanc for now, and he'll figure out if he's going home or if they're going to have to figure something out. His probation is technically over soon, so if he needs to start doing correspondence school, he can, he'd just... really rather not.
Akira doesn't take long to rinse off: as mentioned, his hair just gets washed with normal soap and he comes out smelling fresh and citrus-y when he's ready to actually soak. ]
But hopefully you won't have to.
[He's absolutely that kind of person.]
[He also is maybe watching Akira as he goes through his bumrush cleaning routine, because he certainly wasn't paying specific attention to him the first time they bathed together, and now there's a bit of an entirely different air to their relationship. Not that he's even remotely focused on Akira's bizarre love confession from earlier. Not at all.]
[He hums again, nodding and squirting a bit of a blue-green soap into his palm before walking up and pressing his palm directly below Akira's collarbone with a comically gross sound.] You should spend more time on your hygiene, it's important. [He has never once thought Akira was unclean, but he has to rib him somewhere.]
[He also is maybe watching Akira as he goes through his bumrush cleaning routine, because he certainly wasn't paying specific attention to him the first time they bathed together, and now there's a bit of an entirely different air to their relationship. Not that he's even remotely focused on Akira's bizarre love confession from earlier. Not at all.]
[He hums again, nodding and squirting a bit of a blue-green soap into his palm before walking up and pressing his palm directly below Akira's collarbone with a comically gross sound.] You should spend more time on your hygiene, it's important. [He has never once thought Akira was unclean, but he has to rib him somewhere.]
[ Akira genuinely looks temporarily floored by this, like Akechi has just told him he smells like funyons or something. Akira looks down at himself, but there is only slightly pink, clean skin, and then whips his head back at Akechi.
He is being teased, he realizes, on a slight delay, and so he leans forward, looking extremely intent -- the glasses being off helps. ]
Yeah? You could show me how I should be doing it.
He is being teased, he realizes, on a slight delay, and so he leans forward, looking extremely intent -- the glasses being off helps. ]
Yeah? You could show me how I should be doing it.
I thought the application might be different. You know, different hair types. [ And body types, and all that... but mostly now that he's called out on it he will take the opportunity to look pointedly at Akechi. It's not exactly an overtly sexual kind of look, but he definitely looks more than he had been previously.
He'd maybe been trying to diminish how much he wanted to look at Akechi when naked after he'd just kissed him out of a breakdown, because he's still not entirely sure Akechi? Likes him? And it felt impolite to check out his dick?
But like. He will. ]
He'd maybe been trying to diminish how much he wanted to look at Akechi when naked after he'd just kissed him out of a breakdown, because he's still not entirely sure Akechi? Likes him? And it felt impolite to check out his dick?
But like. He will. ]
[If it helps you at all, Akira, he opts to sit in a way that will make ogling his dick sort of difficult once you sit down. He is sitting relatively close, though, so if you want to just. Look at it, feel free?? He lacks proper perception for being eyeraked.]
Just a quickie, for today, to avoid us staying into the rush. [Okay or maybe he knows exactly what he's doing??]
Just a quickie, for today, to avoid us staying into the rush. [Okay or maybe he knows exactly what he's doing??]
[ You can visibly see the moment that Akira looks directly at the wall as his soul leaves his body and he stands up entirely too quickly. Thankfully, he does not fall and brain himself on the tile. ]
Wow, yeah, great point! Time to soak! [ He is going to go straight into the bath now, because even Akira, the great phantom thief Joker, is a little flushed when being teased by the boy he's had a crush on for the better part of a year now. ]
Wow, yeah, great point! Time to soak! [ He is going to go straight into the bath now, because even Akira, the great phantom thief Joker, is a little flushed when being teased by the boy he's had a crush on for the better part of a year now. ]
[That was informative.]
[Akechi stays seated for a moment longer, looking after him as he veritably scurries away, and there's a distinct amount of fondness that he surprises himself with. This dumb asshole really was into him, what the fuck. He stands up himself a moment later and trails after him, taking absolutely no time to give Akira a solid once-over from behind, mostly in curiosity.]
[He's still working up the gall to figure out his stance on the entire situation.]
Fast learner?
[Akechi stays seated for a moment longer, looking after him as he veritably scurries away, and there's a distinct amount of fondness that he surprises himself with. This dumb asshole really was into him, what the fuck. He stands up himself a moment later and trails after him, taking absolutely no time to give Akira a solid once-over from behind, mostly in curiosity.]
[He's still working up the gall to figure out his stance on the entire situation.]
Fast learner?
[ Please hold, Akira is going to dunk his entire body completely under the water of the tub until he's light headed. When he resurfaces, he can claim that it's the hot water that's making his cheeks flush. It also means he gets to slick his bangs back out of his eyes, which isn't something he's doing on purpose but does make him look a little like Joker. ]
You can't tease me about this when I can't tease you about it.
You can't tease me about this when I can't tease you about it.
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