[He puts away the items of the first aid kit in tense silence, clicking it shut and sighing, letting his shoulders sag.]
That isn't a fair question. [Of course he was happy to have his mother alive. Of course, not having been orphaned and passed around through the foster care system like an unwanted time bomb, only to extricate himself to hatch a plan of revenge that started and ended with blood on his hands was a "happier" life to lead, by default. But it was fake. It wasn't real, and he lived under the rule and thumb of a man who had decided for him what would be best for him, what would make and keep him happy. Even in his usual life of anger and a myriad of situations no one should have to face, let alone a child, he had always fought for his own agency. He wanted, if nothing else, to control his own fate.]
[So was he happier? If Akira wanted to hear it to be upset he couldn't make the world a painless utopia as Maruki had, yes. He was "happier", with his mother alive and his university entrance exams the biggest stress point in his life. But it wasn't his truth.]
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That isn't a fair question. [Of course he was happy to have his mother alive. Of course, not having been orphaned and passed around through the foster care system like an unwanted time bomb, only to extricate himself to hatch a plan of revenge that started and ended with blood on his hands was a "happier" life to lead, by default. But it was fake. It wasn't real, and he lived under the rule and thumb of a man who had decided for him what would be best for him, what would make and keep him happy. Even in his usual life of anger and a myriad of situations no one should have to face, let alone a child, he had always fought for his own agency. He wanted, if nothing else, to control his own fate.]
[So was he happier? If Akira wanted to hear it to be upset he couldn't make the world a painless utopia as Maruki had, yes. He was "happier", with his mother alive and his university entrance exams the biggest stress point in his life. But it wasn't his truth.]